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How to Emotionally Be There for Your Partner


When in a relationship, we have our highs and our lows. It is easy to be there when the times are great but how we are as a partner for our loved one is measured by our emotional support during the low moments. There are many ways to hold space and be there for them. Here are 4 ways in which we can put into practice and make our partners feel loved and supported when feeling blue.



Compassionate Listening.

Very often when our partners share their struggles or feel off and turn to us, how we show up for them is paramount. The question to ask ourselves is, are we listening to them to give unsolicited advice or are we listening to make them feel heard and cared for? Women more than men, want their partners to simply listen. They want to go through the details and vent it out without judgment. At the moment of sharing, they are not in the mental space of wanting to fix the problem. That comes later. Initially, it is all about needing to talk it out and to feel that your partner has your back. Showing empathy goes a long way when listening to their pain.


Ask Them!

This may sound crazy but at times we truly don’t know what our partners need. So instead of guessing, it would help them and yourself by simply asking them. I know that this sounds extremely unorthodox because many people think that if you’re with someone you ought to know how to cheer them up or be there for them. The reality is our partners may know us really well but how we are feeling and what we need for a specific situation can be a blur to them. By you spelling it out and telling them what you need, it would give you what you want. This avoids them having to wreck their brains trying to either figure out what they can do to be there for you or if they should leave you alone and give you your space. If you want your partner to emotionally be there for you, it also helps to let them in and tell them what you need. So they too can feel like they are able to be useful (vs. feeling hopeless) when you’re struggling.


Say something kind and reassuring.

Remind your partner that you love them and that whatever they are going through, you are by their side. A reassuring gesture speaks volumes. It reminds them that while they are feeling overwhelmed or stuck, your sweet and loving gesture will make them feel supported.


Hugs!

Being wrapped up in a long embrace can lower one’s stress levels. Pull your partner close to you and just hold them. Whisper in their ears, telling them how much they mean to you. Or simply just hold them and let your heart say it all. This will ease their pain and when they are calmer they will feel more ready to talk or share about it (if they weren’t previously) with a lower emotional reaction.


These pointers are great ways to be present and emotionally available for our loved ones. Next time your partner is going through a rough patch, give it a try and see how it strengthens your bond even more.


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